Ten days between posts is just unacceptable!  I have the best audience ever because you guys stick with me even if I don't post regularly.  For that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.  :)

What's new?  

J is potty training.  He turns three on the 27th and he's been 70% of the way there for quite some time.  This weekend T is off on a cub scout camping trip so I figured now is the perfect time. Since his class in the church nursery has the teeny-weeny little toddler size toilets and the teachers are good about having them go potty, I figure we have nothing to lose!  Except maybe some money on next month's water bill from all the extra laundry, lol.

Because of our fear of enduring another miscarriage, hubby and I had been very careful to avoid the fertile time in my cycle.  One day, I realized that we had been unsuccessful in avoiding it and I was immediately overcome with fear.  Fear, however, does not come from God.  Fear only entered the world along with sin and brought company like shame and doubt.

As I have been learning to do, I began to seek out scriptures to calm my heart and find out what God wanted me to know.  One thing I did was go on Facebook and post the following:
"If you can see this please pick a number between 1 and 1,138 - go high or low. Then say a prayer for me. I'm wrestling with something tonight."

Over the next few days friends from all over the country, who had no idea what I was struggling with, began picking page numbers.  I read each one diligently seeking the truths God had waiting for me.  Not all of them were applicable, but most of them lead me to read more and seek more.  A few were obvious messages from the Lord.  From all the reading I did over the next few days, these verses were illuminated for me, in exactly this order!

Getting into my bible and reading this morning was challenging.  I was so deep asleep when my alarm went off that I forgot to take my thyroid medicine.  Thankfully a still, small voice reminded me when I woke up otherwise the next few days were going to be BAD!  You have to take thyroid medicine on an empty stomach and wait 30-60 minutes after taking it to eat/drink anything.  That meant I had wide awake littles wanting morning beverages and cereal before I've had a drop of coffee.  o.0  I am lost without coffee, it's like my brain is stuck in neutral until I've had several hours to slowly come awake.  Never the less, it was my time to get into my Bible study and not even my decaffeinated brain was going to stop me!  It did slow me down though. I had to find some study guides online to help me start really processing what I was reading.  The cool thing was, the study guides I found actually gave me some insight that I didn't have before - like recognizing the description of God's shekinah glory in Chapter 6.

Do you know loosing Blueberry probably saved me from years of wondering what was wrong with me?  When I got pregnant with Blueberry, my OB discovered that my Thyroid Stimulating Hormone (TSH) was low and he put me on a synthetic thyroid hormone.  In case you don't know, a developing baby doesn't have it's own thyroid until much later so that itty-bitty needs yours!  If you aren't producing enough thyroid hormone on your own... it can cause issues. When we lost Blueberry, he started to suspect that my thyroid and the miscarriage were related.