I am just bursting to write and I've been so consumed lately!  In my continuing endeavor to be wholly "there" wherever and whatever I'm doing, I don't always get a moment to collect my thoughts enough to write.  The other side of that is a re-prioritization of things in my life (say that 3x fast).  How about a quick, what's she up to now?

Home life is never boring here.  After Baby R's burn healed, Grandma stayed a while longer before heading back home.  At least we got to do some fun things together like the museum!

Almost as soon as she got on the plane, one of our dogs ended up tearing the ligament in his knee, requiring surgery. That was fun to save up for!  I mentioned in my last post that #1 son and I were going to start training for a 5k in October in memory of our babies.  We got through nearly two weeks of training before life happened and we had to pause things, but we're about to get back on track. God willing, I'm going to run that 5k in the fall!

What put training on pause?  All three boys ended up sick.  Son #1 got strep first.  While we took him to the doctor, sons #2 and #3 picked up the RSV virus.  Not to be outdone, #2 managed to have RSV and strep at the same time!  There were a lot of antibiotics to be taken, some steroids, copious hours of movie watching around here.  Plus the inordinate amount of extra laundry and cleaning.  How I have wished some days my sweet Momma could teleport back and help me.  :)  God's grace was sufficient and He helped me endure it.  It was during this time I started living 15 minutes at a time.  For these 15 minutes I will _______, then we'll tackle whatever comes next 15 minute at a time.

I have been making the weekly updates for the church blog which means the time I would usually spend posting here, I have been uploading the submissions for Faith | Hope | Love.  Out of the desire to have weekly girlfriend time, a small group of us are now meeting together on Wednesday evenings and working through a bible study called Designing a Woman's Life: Discovering Your Unique Purpose and Passion by Judith Couchman.  Our kids have a chance to play together (because you know mine go with me everywhere) and we can fellowship with each other and work through the tough questions about who God designed us to be! A wonderful lady at our church also felt moved to do a bible study based on the movie War Room - you know I signed up for that!  Our first session was last night and let me tell you, between the hard hitting questions from our Wednesday night study and the hard hitting questions from the War Room study, God and Jodi are going to be getting lots of things answered.

I've also felt led to write about some topics I've been holding back on sharing. Not holding back because I'm afraid of the backlash (which I'm sure may be part of it) but because I'm not 100% sure where I stand on some of these topics myself.  I don't feel like I can come on God Still Speaks and spill my heart without fully knowing where I stand on the matter, but God is telling me that it's not about me, it's about Him.  I agree 100%.  Not sure how I'm going to do it all, but as I said, I am living life 15 minutes at a time.  These 15 minutes were devoted to this blog and saying hello.  The next will be focused on War Room's Day One homework.  The next 15 minutes?  Well, we'll see who needs what when we get there.

"A church is not a museum for saints, it is a hospital for sinners."

I have no idea who originally said that, but in my head I hear my Mother's voice; she said it often.  For a long time, I thought it was just one of those Christian-y things people said.  Now, I wonder if it helped her to maintain perspective when times got hard, feelings got hurt, and people forgot how to act.  That statement helps me keep my priorities focused on reflecting Christ and not my own agenda when times get tough.

We are supposed to love the sinner and hate the sin.  God used a recent situation to show me how to behave when things hit the fan and the whole situation just stinks.  I originally reacted in much the same way anyone would.  Then I listened to a Sunday School lesson where I was reminded that my goal should FIRST AND FOREMOST be to point people to Christ.  Often, when life seems to crumble we are always quick to place blame and condemn.  I was reminded that all too often, sin comes from a place of deep brokenness.  There's only one person I know who can fix those kinds of hurts.

Romans 12:20-21 ESV
To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

My initial reaction(s) did not point anyone toward Christ. He would be the only person who could forgive, restore, and heal.  From that point forward, I purposed to use each opportunity to point people to God and reflect His love.  Is it easy?  Not always, but when you see people through God's eyes, it's easier.  When people make bad decisions, I try to look beyond what I see with my plank-filled eye, and see the soul God placed in that body.

Jude 1:22-23 ESV 
And have mercy on those who doubt; save others by snatching them out of the fire; to others show mercy with fear, hating even the garment stained by the flesh.

Our value, our God-given gifts and purpose, are not diminished by our sin.  No more than a diamond's shine is diminished.  We need someone to clean us off and polish us off.  Next time you are sitting with the elephant in the room, remind them that God loves them no differently than He did when they were a minute old.  Point them toward Christ.  Guide them to a hospital for sinners.  Help tend to the wounds on the outside as God works on healing from the inside.  

1 John 1:8-9 ESV 
If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

John 8:7 ESV 
And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.”

This week starts my painfully slow breakdown of all our Christmas decorations.  I know I won't even get started on that project today since I have errands to run all morning (once #3 wakes up) and appointments this evening.  I'm five days behind on my YouVersion daily bible reading plan.  Both sides of my sink are full of soaking dishes that need loading into the dishwasher.  There are at least three piles of laundry to do, not counting the sheets still on all the beds.  My #1 son headed back to school today and will no doubt come home with plenty of homework.  When I took stock of my day over a hot cup of coffee, I had to make a choice - be overwhelmed or do my best.  Then it hit me...

I have been telling my eldest since Kindergarten, "I want you to always do the best you can do,"  I never wanted my kids to be worried about making a certain grade or achieving a certain milestone.  I purpose to allow my children to grow into the men God has designed them to be.  My prayer is that I won't impose my idea of who they should be on them.  Hubby and I work hard to give them the room to try new things, like AND not like those things, and make mistakes to learn from.  Yes, sometimes #1 comes home with a bad grade. Each time I ask him, "did you do the best you could at that moment?"  Occasionally he admits he didn't, to which I simply reply, "well then you earned that grade".  When he's done his best, I don't shame him for what he earned.  I asked him if there's anything I can do to help him out.  

I often see God from the perspective of a loving parent.  He loves us beyond measure, sets rules and boundaries to keep us safe, disciplines us when we get too big for our britches, and celebrates with us when we really have done our best.  I could feel like a failure as a mom, housekeeper, wife, friend, blogger, and just about any other title I carry.  Today, I choose to do the best that I can.  God has already handled this day for me.  All the details are worked out.  I need only to walk in faith and do my best.

Deuteronomy 31:8 "The LORD is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed."

We started our blessings list yesterday.  I'm so excited about doing this because it has really been a huge blessing to some folks I hold near and dear to my heart.  You simple take a sheet of paper and each day jot down your blessings.  If you skip a day or two, that's OK.  Maybe you only want to write down the big ones.  It's your blessings list, you can keep it however you want to.  Personally, I'm striving for at least one blessing for each day!

New Years Day ushers in New Year resolutions for most of us.  I haven't made a resolution in several years because things change so quickly around here over the course of 12 months.  I don't know if I consider this a resolution, but I am striving to focus in more directly on Jesus filling my life.  I have said before that when I'm striving toward Jesus, everything else falls into place.  When the devil attacks, I know I'm on the right path.  During those attacks I have to buckle down, intentionally choose joy, and seek out how God would have me respond.

A member of my extended family told me about a bible she recently started reading.  It was NIV translation in chronological order with historical commentary.  She new I'd be a fan.  I haven't been able to grab the bible yet, but it did inspire to me seek out a bible study in my YouVersion App. If you are interested in which one it is, check out "Reading God's Story: One-Year Chronological Plan". I firmly believe that if I purpose to get closer to Jesus, I need to be reading my bible intentionally, praying intentionally, and reacting to the world around me intentionally.  In a half sleep state one night, I was thinking about how nice it would be to just sit with Jesus and have a conversation.  Get His perspective on everything I have going on and get some answers to a few questions.  Then I realized, that's what our bibles are for.  I believe that it is the living Word of God and if I read it with a prayerful heart, the Holy Spirit will illuminate those answers for me.

Will you join me in a purposeful chase after Jesus this year?  What reading plans or devotionals do you love and recommend?  What does your blessings list look like?

If we don't have hope, what do we really have?  I have been disappointed by every earthly thing.  Hope, for me, has been found in an unchanging God.  When everything is falling around me,  I still have hope in a Risen Savior.  I wish that I could give that gift to everyone I know without hope.  I can only pray that God will soften them to his call.

We live in an unfair world.  I remind my boys that life will not be fair 99% of the time.  Why?  Because I need them to learn to give their all no matter what.  I am beaming with pride when they handle an unfair situation with grace.  How much more pride does the Heavenly Father have for us when we do the same?

Today you WILL change the future.  You are going to have a ripple affect on lives; most of the time you won't even know it's happening.  What will you do now that you are aware of it?

Our year started off with me being sick.  Not just pregnant sick, but pregnant with the flu and sinus infection sick.  To say I was miserable was an understatement, and my poor husband had to take time off of work just to care for the boys and I.  If we're being honest, I barely remember the beginning of the year unless it involved a trip to the doctor's office or pharmacy.  Then on January 19, 2015 our family welcomed Baby R into our midst.  He was a healthy, happy 7lbs 5oz and 20 inches long.

Since then, we have been adjusting to life as a family of five.  I'm fortunate that Baby R has a go with the flow demeanor (for the most part).  Our older boys have been adjusting as well as can be expected; in many ways better than expected.  Hubby and I are thankful my parents were able to come and help for the first six weeks as I recovered from my c-section and we all worked to get to know our newest addition.

As the dust starts to settle, and a fledgling routine emerges, I am working to SLOWLY add things back into my daily life - like blogging.  One of the first things I wove into my routine was bible study.  I have found it helpful to read my bible app during these crazy baby days.  My phone is easier to hold in one hand while nursing the baby, cuddling a preschooler, or helping our big kid.  The bible app I use (from YouVersion)  has different reading plans and I am working on two of them.

The first is called A Minute For Mommy, which helps me keep perspective as I adjust to having three earthly children.  The other is God, Sex And Your Marriage because years ago, we committed to keeping our marriage a priority in our lives and not letting work, kids, or even education become more important than our relationship to each other.  Only our relationship with Jesus Christ should come before our marriage, and when we do that we know everything else will fall right into place.

Thought For Today

I was raised around scouting and along the way I picked up a lot of outdoorsy skills.  One of those being how to navigate in a variety of circumstances.  Maybe you don't have a map and your compass is broken, how do you find your way?

You should have a general idea of the area you're in before you ever ventured out.  Then using the sun (or stars) you get your bearings - north, south, east, west.  From there, you can navigate in the general direction you need to go to reach a major road, town, or something of similar importance.  One thing you learn quickly is if you start walking in one direction, you will veer off course!  Humans for whatever reason can't stay on course no matter what we do.

Skeptical?  Close your eyes and try walking down the middle of a long hallway, eventually you'll bump into one of those walls.  Seasoned navigators will tell you to look at the horizon and pick a focal point; tree, mountain, some kind of landmark where you need to go.  If you keep your focus on that landmark, you will continue to walk in the right direction... even when you veer off course.

Our relationship with Jesus Christ is similar.  Keep your focus on the Lord, and everything else falls into place.  It's a biblical principle!

Proverbs 4:25 ESV 

Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you.

Hebrews 2:1 ESV

Therefore we must pay much closer attention to what we have heard, lest we drift away from it.

Psalm 119:105 ESV 

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.

Luke 12:31 ESV

Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things [verses 22-30] will be added to you.

Even in these crazy days, I know I only need to seek the word of my heavenly Father and everything will play out according to His will for my life.  I don't have to worry about making sure everything turns out "just right" because God is in the intricate details of everything in our lives.

Do I still have bad days?  Yes!  Do I get frustrated, angry, and lose my temper?  Of course!  Does my house stay clean, laundry folded and put away, dishes washed?  Not by a long shot.

It's about keeping perspective and knowing what my duties as a follower of Christ are.  The two main duties in this moment are being a help mate for the man God joined me with and the best mother I can to the boys God has chosen me to raise for Him.  The bible's focus should be my focus.  Being Pinterest perfect or embodying society's idea of the can-do mom is NOT IT.

I love knowing that God is not far away watching things play out, he's right here; within me ever since I accepted Jesus Christ's redemption.  Before Jesus, God was still closer than the air we breathe, just waiting for the day I let him come in.  If the devil is in the details, I'm glad to know that the one who defeated the devil is in charge of all my details!  

As I'm sitting here with what I assume to be a baby butt pushing and rolling around in my uterus it makes me wonder; how can a baby not be a living person until he or she is delivered?  Honestly, this little guy in my womb has just as much personality as his brothers.  He moves, reacts, and wiggles just like they do.  Just one of those passing thoughts I get sometimes as I try to enjoy the last few weeks of our pregnancy.  

Assuming all continues splendidly, our repeat c-section is six weeks away. When I'm not feeling well, that feels like an eternity.  When the anxiety creeps in or I think about how much is left on the pre-baby to-do list, it feels like no where near enough time.  God reminds me daily that he has already planned out the course for us.  He has gone far ahead and mapped out all the details in perfect harmony.

Whether my pregnancy health continues well or deteriorates, good weather or bad, ready or not I know the Creator who hung the stars has already worked out every moment in advance.  All I have to do is trust Him and know that whatever transpires, it is happening according to His plan.  That is what I have prayed for from Day 1 and that's all I can ask for.

As another hope mommy safely delivered her rainbow child this week, my heart was filled with thanksgiving yet again.  God doesn't always answer our prayers exactly in the way we'd want, but when He shows himself mightily, I cannot help but feel gratitude.  Babies seem like the most obvious sign of our creator.  I have come to understand the miracle necessary to simply get pregnant, but then to continue a pregnancy, and deliver a healthy child is a miracle.  

In light, my grateful heart has been enjoying this Psalm over and over lately as I revel in the glory of my Great Big God who I'm thankful to daily serve (even when I fail miserably).

Psalm 138 — A Prayer of Thanksgiving

1 I thank you, Lord, with all my heart;
   I sing praise to you before the gods.
2 I face your holy Temple,
   bow down, and praise your name
   because of your constant love and faithfulness,
   because you have shown that your name and your commands are supreme.
3 You answered me when I called to you;
   with your strength you strengthened me.
4 All the kings in the world will praise you, Lord,
   because they have heard your promises.
5 They will sing about what you have done
   and about your great glory.
6 Even though you are so high above,
   you care for the lowly,
   and the proud cannot hide from you.
7 When I am surrounded by troubles,
   you keep me safe.
   You oppose my angry enemies
   and save me by your power.
8 You will do everything you have promised;
   Lord, your love is eternal.
   Complete the work that you have begun.

I was chatting with a friend earlier and wrote out this statement:

I know we're in a strange season for sure!  Just making it a point to enjoy the "here and now" for what it is before the "what's to come" shows up.

I sat and looked at that for a moment and realized that was an inspired sentence - certainly inspiration and insight like that did not come from me!  (I mean, I lost my purse and a pack of tissues twice this morning.)

In a season of change, it's incredibly difficult to purposely enjoy the "here and now".  Here and now might be tired, frustrated, angry, bitter, depressed, anxious.  Who wants to live in that space?  I have found that I if I purpose to find contentment, not complacency, in the here and now things are a lot easier to handle.

Do I still have bad days?  Oh yes!

Are there days I spend wishing I was already to the next season?  Definitely!

My goal is to find purpose in each today.  Today I am encouraging my boys (10 and 3) to play together nicely during the Thanksgiving break.  I'm slowly working on getting caught up on some of the little projects I've been putting off.

In bible study last night we talked about a blessings list.  Literally, a simple list of things you see as blessings that happen in your life, to your family and friends, are totally random.  Whatever they may be, you just jot down a running list of blessings.  Each day you can find a blessing and each day you add on.  For example, if I was writing out my blessing list today, it might look like this:

Blessings for Monday, 11/24/14

— Potty training milestone - he woke up dry

— I found that bible study I was looking for

— Husband has four days off from his hectic schedule

— Big kid is working very hard to be patient/kind to preschooler

— Weather is cooler again so I'm comfortable

— Got the dirty dishes in the dishwasher (HUGE)

... and it's not even 12:30 pm yet.

Here and now is what we make of it.  There are so many of us who are in a season of change. The world around us is changing - geologically, climatologically (is that a word?  it is now!), politically, socially, morally....

We can cower in a corner lamenting the "good old days" or we can remember that God is still very much in control over everything and concerned over our lives.  Nothing in this world has happened without his knowledge and it's all unfolding according to plan.  The bible says it will get worse before it gets better, but when it gets better it's going to be really, really, really great!!

What does your blessing list look like today?  Share with us!

In honor of Thanksgiving , our pastor started a series on gratitude.  During his sermon on 11/2 he said "Its not about being faithful; its about looking to the faithful one." That really resonated with me.  When I've been rattled to the core, sometimes I don't feel faithful.  I know what I think and believe intellectually, but what I feel is something completely different.  Those times when you think of all the scriptures that tell you to be joyful, peaceful because God is in control but what you really feel like is an ill-fated passenger hanging onto the back end of the Titanic hoping for a miracle.

Having said that, I can also see where current me is way more peaceful and joyful than five-years-ago me would have been in the exact same circumstances.  I'm not as quick to feel like I need to take matters into my own hands.  I'm more willing to relinquish control and remind myself that God is up to something even when it feels like we're sitting ducks.  We're in a holding pattern now.  Roman is on his way, so I already know everything will be shaken up with his arrival (bye-bye sleeping for 4-5 hours in a row; until we meet again).  We're waiting for that time when God is ready to move hubby out of his current job and schedule into something different.  

So what do I do when I don't feel all that faithful?  Remember, first and foremost, that God is faithful enough for both of us.  The Holy Spirit within me already knows my heart is weary and prays for me on my behalf (Romans 8:26-27).  How exciting to think that 1/3 of the divine trinity prays for me!!  What if I told you it's not just 1/3, but 2/3 of the trinity that prays for you.  Oh yes, go read John 17:6-26 where Jesus, Lord and Savior, carried YOU to his Father's throne is prayer!  Go ahead and marinate on the gravity of that one for a moment, I can wait...

I will leave you with this about looking to the faithful one. Go read Job 38-42 and take in the full exchange between God and Job.  Try to answer the questions that God poses to Job (who by the way was someone who looked to the faithful one, even when he was lost in despair).  Watch how things end up for Job and his friends in the end and ask yourself - what kind of difference does it make to look to the faithful one?

Ever since my hiatus, I've been really off my routine.  I always find it interesting how thrown off even the tiniest changes in our day can be.  I can see over the years where I would stop/start doing something out of necessity and it would snowball into a complete change in behavior.  For example, when I went back to work keeping my house was lower priority than time with my kids.  I got out of the habit of cleaning like I did when I was a young homemaker. Despite having been home for over a year now, I still only do the bare minimum and spend more time goofing off with my kids.  Yes, I'm at least spending that time with the boys, but there are drawbacks.  My organization system has crumbled and I've turned into the queen of piles.  When I "clean up" it's usually knocking down piles and picking up messes that creep back within a few hours.

Filling the Tank

Another area in my life that has taken a hit is my bible study.  I was doing so well for a while; purposefully getting into God's word every single day.  The last couple of months I've done a terrible job of opening my bible and reading.  I am still exposed to scripture regularly, which is a huge plus and has probably kept me fueled.  The issue is that being exposed to scripture is like filling a gas tank that has 1/4 left to only 1/2 a tank - it runs out quickly and really affects how well you run.  Purposeful bible study takes a 1/4 tank and fills it up completely.  That full tank takes a lot longer to burn off fuel and you run so much better!

This is me purposing and holding myself accountable to you to read my bible.  I'm looking forward to finding some of the advent scriptures to do with the boys as Christmas approaches.  For myself, I think I'm going to do a more structured study than usual.  Last year, hubby bought me several bible study guides.  The one I really want to do I can't find (not shocking with my lack of organization) so until it turns up I'll work through a book of devotional prayer Beth Moore wrote called Praying God's Word Day by Day.  Since it's already dated, I just added the year for today's date so looking back I can recall when/where I was when I read that page.

What struck a cord with me today is that God is faithful even when we are lacking in our own faith (2 Timothy 2:13) and when we are lacking in our own faith it doesn't change that He is still faithful to us (Romans 2:23).  What he portions out to us is not dependent or proportional to how faithful we are to him.  Thank God for that because otherwise I would be up a very smelly creek without a paddle and there's a hole in the boat!!  

Baby Update!

I haven't posted about our rainbow in a little while so let's do a quick update.   Some of you know I've been reluctant to post a bump pic; especially since receiving some criticism (not wrongly; mistakes were made) for my insensitivity to those who's hearts yearn for a little one. 

That being said, I also feel like God wants me to boast in His glory and His gift in allowing me to carry our fifth child. So thanks be to God that He's given us 29 healthy weeks with Roman Lee!  Yes, we picked a name...

Roman = strong, powerful
Lee = healer

We're prayerfully looking forward to another 10 weeks before Roman makes his debut!  As of today, Roman is 29 weeks old (7, almost 8, months) and enjoys synchronized womb judo, coffee, and Laffy Taffy. He dislikes dinner, Mommy brushing her teeth, and anything touching his bump. 

I've been working on the same post for over a week.  Life keeps getting in the way.  Most recently, my big kid has been sick with what I suspect to be another sinus infection.  I did share something with my Hope Mommies bible study group that I wanted to also share with you.

I had this as the wallpaper on my desktop for a long time. So often I'd ask for God to calm the storm and felt like he wasn't listening. Then I realized that sometimes the point is to be a beacon for those in the storm; God would keep me calm so I could help others see how much of a difference he could make in a life seeking him. As a side note, we're doing a series in Sunday School about "overcoming" - being faithful in the trials and tribulations. We're reading about Joseph's life and challenges in Genesis. This morning we were reminded, even when we find ourselves in "the pit," and you simply can't understand why, just keep doing whatever God has given you the gift(s) to do and eventually you'll find out.

Many friends and loved ones are walking difficult roads right now.  We can say we have faith, trust God's plan, know better days are ahead.  We may even believe it; but what do you do when it's more than you can take to simply put on foot in front of the other?

I'm reminded of a night, just before Christmas, when I was still in training at the restaurant.  We were exceptionally busy and I was running circles - bread, beverage station, bar, appetizers, salads, entrees... I was running an inside marathon!

My feet, legs, and hips ached in ways I couldn't describe.  My head was throbbing and I was so tired I couldn't see straight.  I remember I had just picked up an order of drinks and was headed down the hallway to my section.  That hallway was maybe a few dozen feet, but in that moment, it was miles!

In my heart and head I begged God for help.  I could barely move under my own power and we weren't even through the dinner rush.  How could I put one foot in front of another when my legs felt like they would give out with each step?!  God, help me.  I can't make it through this night without you.  You said in our weakness we will be made strong.  I'm so tired. Hurting so much.  I can't go on without you!  Please just keep me moving!!  Don't let me fall...

I barely remember the rest of that night.  Its like a scratched DVD that skips and hops all over the place.  I plastered on a smile around customers and winced in agony in the kitchen.  I tried to convince myself I'd survive when I was pretty sure I was about to drop. At the end of that shift, I remember sitting in my car thanking God for every ounce of endurance He gave me.  I knew, in that moment, that I could rely on Him to help me make it when I just don't have the fortitude to do it on my own.

We all have those moments.  Maybe yours is physical.  For some it's mental, emotional, even spiritual.  Dare I say, a combination of them all?  Sometimes we don't have the wherewithal to keep moving.  Our agony is too great, the burden too heavy, and our bodies are about to buckle under the strain.

This is where lots of people say "God will never give you more than you can handle".  I don't believe that, although my Mom and I have agreed to disagree on it's scriptural authenticity.  I believe God often gives, Christians especially, more than we can handle.  Why?  Two reasons.  (1) To make sure we remain reliant on Him, lest we start to believe we can handle this life thing all on our own.  (2) To send us running back to Him and His word so we can be more fulfilled by Him. 

I have learned an important lesson the last couple of years. When the going gets tough, run to God.  He's waiting for you to simply trust Him to do what He's promised.  What did He promise exactly?  The Bible is filled with his promises to us so I encourage you to begin there.  

Here's a sampling of the promises I stand on when I can't stand on my own.  What are some of your go-to verses when the storms rage?

—Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

—Matthew 11:28-29 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

—Isaiah 40:29-31 "He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.  Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion.  But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.  They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary.  They will walk and not faint."

I wanted to share this because I've referenced it a lot in conversation lately. You may remember, I wrote this devo for a friend's baby shower.  I removed some of the personal information, but not what I felt like God led me to say...

I prayed hard about what God wanted me to say to you today.  Four things came to mind: (1) what makes a good mother, (2) nurturing a mother, (3) being a working mom, and (4) evil mommy guilt.

1) WHAT IS A GOOD MOTHER?  

Based on what I’ve been able to find in the bible, a good mother is a wise, god fearing, loving, disciplinarian!  A wise mother teaches her children to grow into strong, godly minded individuals.
Proverbs 31:26 says wise mothers “speak with a gentle wisdom.”  Proverbs 1:8-9 clearly states a wise mother’s teaching “will improve your character as a handsome turban or a necklace improves your appearance.”

God-fearing women become the wisest Mothers. Homes are made by the wisdom of women, but are destroyed by foolishness - Proverbs 14:1  James 1:5 says But if any of you lack wisdom, you should pray to God, who will give it to you; because God gives generously and graciously to all.

A Mother should be loving and encouraging to her children, even in discipline. Parents, do not treat your children in such a way as to make them angry. Instead, raise them with Christian discipline and instruction. Ephesians 6:4  You won’t always succeed, but do your best to be loving and encouraging even when  you want to simply strangle your children.

Good mothers are Disciplinarians, even though sometimes it hurts you more than it hurts them!  Discipline your children while they are young enough to learn. If you don't, you are helping them destroy themselves. Proverbs 19:18  Teach children how they should live, and they will remember it all their life. Proverbs 22:6  When we are punished, it seems to us at the time something to make us sad, not glad. Later, however, those who have been disciplined by such punishment reap the peaceful reward of a righteous life. Hebrews 12:11

As you’ve probably noticed, our children are always watching the way we live our lives.  Our choices, words and actions, sacrifices, and even areas of lack create the yard stick our children will measure their own lives with.  If you want them to have lives marked by faith, you have to live your own life as one marked by faith.

A Mother Leaves A Legacy For Her Family To Inherit!

The bible says Mothers can leave two kinds of legacies...

The first is illustrated in Ezekiel 16:44-45 which says The Lord said, “People will use this proverb about you, Jerusalem: ‘Like mother, like daughter. You really are your mother's daughter. She detested her husband and her children. You are like your sisters, who hated their husbands and their children.  No thanks, I think I’ll pass!

The other legacy is like 2 Timothy 1:5-7 I remember the sincere faith you have, the kind of faith that your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice also had. I am sure that you have it also. For this reason I remind you to keep alive the gift that God gave you when I laid my hands on you. For the Spirit that God has given us does not make us timid; instead, his Spirit fills us with power, love, and self-control.

It’s not enough to simply know what a good mother is.  

Being a good mother means you 2) FOCUS ON YOUR SPIRITUAL GROWTH

Mothers so easily get bogged down in our duties – there is always a dish to wash, mountains of dirty laundry, a butt to clean, face to feed... the list goes on!  Jesus made it very clear that we MUST make our Spiritual growth a priority.   In Luke 10 Jesus and his disciples had been welcomed into the home of a woman named Martha. She was upset over all the work she had to do while her sister sat down at the feet of the Lord and listened to his teaching.  [You mean she didn’t have any help with all the work to be done!?  Boy I’m glad that doesn’t happen anymore!  *eye roll*]

Martha came to Jesus and said, “Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her to come and help me!” This is where Jesus answered her, “Martha, Martha! You are worried and troubled over so many things, but just one is needed. Mary has chosen the right thing, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Jesus makes it clear that even though there is always work to be done, you can’t allow it to hinder your own spiritual growth.

Nurture yourself by staying connected to other God-fearing women! We are at a prime age where we can glean so much knowledge from the women who have blazed this trail ahead of us, but we are still in a position to share our own experiences with the women who are starting these journeys of their own.

Hebrews 10:25 says Let us not give up the habit of meeting together, as some are doing. Instead, let us encourage one another all the more, since you see that the Day of the Lord is coming nearer.  That brought to mind Titus 2 which reminds us why this is important.  Those verses challenge us to “teach what is good, in order to train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, and to be good housewives who submit themselves to their husbands, so that no one will speak evil of the message that comes from God.”  This is the older, more experienced wives teaching the younger, inexperienced ones – they are nurturing each other.

We know what good moms are, how to nurture them, but what about working moms?  

All moms have a hard time nurturing themselves, but I feel like 3) WORKING MOTHERS find it especially challenging!

I have been both a working Mom and stay-at-home Mom so let me share this bit of my own knowledge and experience with you:

You are doing what God has led you to do or you wouldn't still be doing it!

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says Everything that happens in this world happens at the time God chooses.
God has led you to work.  He has given you with a steady job that provides for your family.  Working outside the home also provides you with ways to live out the gospel to countless others... THAT is kingdom work, no matter your title, or earthly employer.

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as though you were working for the Lord and not for people.... For Christ is the real Master you serve” Colossians 3:23

As I prepared to speak about working moms, I saw Proverbs 31 in a whole new light.  I won’t read the whole shebang, so bear with me if I seem to jump around a bit.

14 She brings home food from out-of-the-way places, as merchant ships do.
15 She gets up before daylight to prepare food for her family and to tell her servant women what to do.
16 She looks at land and buys it, and with money she has earned she plants a vineyard.
17 She is a hard worker, strong and industrious.
24 She makes clothes and belts, and sells them to merchants.

This “ideal woman” is purchasing land; working in the fields, selling at the gates of the city... it seems to me that this “ideal woman” spends plenty of time working outside the home.

What does she do with her children while she’s working so hard? She may have taken them with her, but who’s to say she didn’t have one of the servants in verse 15 caring for her children! God led this “ideal woman” to work hard and be industrious.  No matter how she accomplished it, sister-girl got it done!  She’s become OUR measuring stick....

Proverbs 31 also says “the ideal” woman’s children show their appreciation, and her husband praises her.  Charm is deceptive and beauty disappears, but a woman who honors the Lord should be praised. Give her credit for all she does. She deserves the respect of everyone.

Outside or inside of the home – all Mothers are working, ALL THE TIME!  So hard in fact that the bible says we should be appreciated, praised, given credit, and respected; even though it doesn’t always come from the mouths of our husbands or babies.

This makes it especially important to have a village of sisters to remind us that we are not alone and all the effort we put into our families pays off in a big way!

What about the #4) EVIL MOMMY GUILT

Don’t be caught up in the worldly perspective on home, marriage, raising our kids, or self-worth!  It’s when we are at our most vulnerable (OK, hormonal) the enemy will attack.  Life is not a Pinterest board. We won’t always get it right, encourage our friends, make our husbands proud, or do right by our kids.  We are human.  We are going to fail.  That’s when the devil is going to twist the truth, remind us of our failures, and weave lies no human can resist.  Our enemy will try forcing us to measure our worth as a mother against the “world’s” standards... DON’T FALL FOR IT!

These situations always bring me back to James 4.  Verse 4 tells us if you are the world's friend, you make yourself God's enemy.   Thank goodness we have verses 7 & 8: So then, submit yourselves to God. Resist the Devil, and he will run away from you. 8 Come near to God, and he will come near to you.

Always keep in mind that we can do nothing without Jesus.  Cling to the Savior and you’ll endure anything the enemy and the world sling at you.

CONCLUSION

All of that to say... extend yourself some grace.  In the end we only want the best for our patience-testing, rarely listening, crying, pooping, mess making tiny humans.  During the hardest days, on the sleepless nights, when your children test you the most... remember GOD HAS REBELLIOUS CHILDREN TOO!

We are His patience-testing, rarely listening, crying, pooping, mess making humans!  Seek the comfort that can only come from a Father who’s an endlessly wise, loving, disciplinarian; constantly extending us grace and forgiveness because He only wants the very best for us too.

Ten days between posts is just unacceptable!  I have the best audience ever because you guys stick with me even if I don't post regularly.  For that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.  :)

What's new?  

J is potty training.  He turns three on the 27th and he's been 70% of the way there for quite some time.  This weekend T is off on a cub scout camping trip so I figured now is the perfect time. Since his class in the church nursery has the teeny-weeny little toddler size toilets and the teachers are good about having them go potty, I figure we have nothing to lose!  Except maybe some money on next month's water bill from all the extra laundry, lol.

I kid you not, I have seen/heard the phrase "parenting sucks" a lot over the last 24 hours.  Maybe it was the blood moon last night/this morning but something was definitely in the air with the kids!  Our toddler was LITERALLY bouncing all over the place right up until I tucked him into bed.  Mom found a vulgar phrase scribbled inconspicuously on one of our big kid's worksheets from school.  It was a downhill from there.  Hubby and I were so at a loss for what we should do next that we sent the kids to bed and spent the rest of the evening staring blankly at each other, totally speechless, and out of ideas.  At least we're in this crazy thing together!

This morning I was reminded of a devotional I did for a dear friend's baby shower last month.  I talked about a lot of things - what makes a good mother, nurturing a mom, working moms, and evil mommy guilt.  At the end, I shared this with her along with friends and family who were there:

I'm starting to notice a one day on and one day off pattern with my reading.  Tonight I was able to do the devotional for my dear friend's baby shower.  I was so nervous because I'd  never done a devotional before like that, but it went well.  I didn't pass out, vomit, or cry so I'm calling it a win!  :)  She asked me for a copy of it so I guess she liked it too!   I really felt like it was an honor and blessing to have been asked to do that for my friend.  I love that family very much and I'm so excited that they added another sweet little human to the clan.

I eluded to working on the devotional for a couple of weeks.  I had to spend a lot of time in my bible to figure out what it was I felt led to say.  Coincidentally, even though I don't really believe in coincidences, many of my scripture references were from Proverbs.  Why?  Because Proverbs is that part of the bible where the Word is trying to teach us the things we need to know in no uncertain terms.  No parables here, just face value "do this, not that, or else" statements.

I'm thankful for these reminders, because sometimes you just have to slap me in the face with it and tell me do this, not that, or else.  God knew that, he made me after all.

One week down!  :)  Have you been participating in the #lampandlight challenge too?  Are you feeling accomplished?

I didn't make it to church today.  I woke up in a lot of pain (back, legs, hips, etc.) and knew driving was going to be more than I could handle.  Thankfully my oldest boy facilitated a day for me to rest as much as possible and I'm incredibly thankful for it.  I know he has a really hard time having to take on so much responsibility when it comes to his little brother so when he's willing to step up, it means all the more to this Momma's heart.  Now if only our toddler was as willing to be kind and help out around the house!

Proverbs 17

It's hard for me to write on Proverbs because each chapter doesn't necessarily have a theme or a common thread running through it.  I do find it interesting through to flip through the pages I've read and see the things I've highlighted.  I mark the verses that struck a cord with me when I was reading through and my top picks are easily about parenting and relationships.  It makes sense for a stay at home mom right?  Sometimes those verses about relationships strike me because of my former career or even the relationships I've gained and lost over the years.  Sometimes I read through Proverbs and realize it's like God pointing at a specific moment saying "Yeah, that."

If you follow me on social media, you know I did my Day 5 reading pretty late.  The goal however, was to get it done and I did!  Proverbs 15, pictured below pre-highlighter.

Today was a busy one for me.  Not only did hubby and I mark our 12th anniversary today, we had a pool party that ended just an hour before a wedding!  I promised myself months ago this would be my last weekend to double up events.  From here on out, I only do one big event per day.  I'm glad I promised myself that because I'm only 19 weeks (5 months) and I find more and more things becoming a challenge.  I'm still embracing EVERY SINGLE DAY with our little "Cranberry", knowing that our child could be required of us at any time.  As Proverbs 16:1 says: We may make our plans, but God has the last word.