In honor of Thanksgiving , our pastor started a series on gratitude. During his sermon on 11/2 he said "Its not about being faithful; its about looking to the faithful one." That really resonated with me. When I've been rattled to the core, sometimes I don't feel faithful. I know what I think and believe intellectually, but what I feel is something completely different. Those times when you think of all the scriptures that tell you to be joyful, peaceful because God is in control but what you really feel like is an ill-fated passenger hanging onto the back end of the Titanic hoping for a miracle.
Having said that, I can also see where current me is way more peaceful and joyful than five-years-ago me would have been in the exact same circumstances. I'm not as quick to feel like I need to take matters into my own hands. I'm more willing to relinquish control and remind myself that God is up to something even when it feels like we're sitting ducks. We're in a holding pattern now. Roman is on his way, so I already know everything will be shaken up with his arrival (bye-bye sleeping for 4-5 hours in a row; until we meet again). We're waiting for that time when God is ready to move hubby out of his current job and schedule into something different.
So what do I do when I don't feel all that faithful? Remember, first and foremost, that God is faithful enough for both of us. The Holy Spirit within me already knows my heart is weary and prays for me on my behalf (Romans 8:26-27). How exciting to think that 1/3 of the divine trinity prays for me!! What if I told you it's not just 1/3, but 2/3 of the trinity that prays for you. Oh yes, go read John 17:6-26 where Jesus, Lord and Savior, carried YOU to his Father's throne is prayer! Go ahead and marinate on the gravity of that one for a moment, I can wait...
I will leave you with this about looking to the faithful one. Go read Job 38-42 and take in the full exchange between God and Job. Try to answer the questions that God poses to Job (who by the way was someone who looked to the faithful one, even when he was lost in despair). Watch how things end up for Job and his friends in the end and ask yourself - what kind of difference does it make to look to the faithful one?
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Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests to made known to God. — Philippians 4:6