I was talking with #1 son over the weekend.  He was telling me about the latest discussion in youth; comparing ourselves to others.  Ah yes, I know that topic well, as I'm sure most of us do.  We look at the people in our world, on our social media avenues, and consider all the ways we seem to be failing by comparison.  As we chatted, I told him that most people see life as a line of people all racing toward the same finish line.  Some started sooner than us, others later than us, but inevitably we all are headed in the same direction.  Running headlong into our future regardless of how long or short it may be.  Deciding who is ahead and behind along the way.

I told my son that in reality, life is more like a chess board.  Each piece can do something a little different because of who it is, where it resides on the board, what point you are at in the game and the player's strategy.  We are like chess pieces on a board being moved into, and out of position, as needed.  At times a piece may be active, moving often, covering great distances.  Other pieces may appear stagnant or forgotten, moving only a few times during a game.

We cannot compare ourselves to each other.  We do not have the same qualities.  We cannot move through life in exactly the same way. We need to learn about who we are, what makes our position on the board unique.  Although we see things moving around us all the time, we have to trust that we are moved skillfully by the One who can see the whole board and knows how to use our strengths to fulfill the strategy.

Proverbs 18:16 - A man's gift makes room for him     and brings him before the great.

1 Corinthians 12:7-11
7 To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. 8 For to one is given through the Spirit the utterance of wisdom, and to another the utterance of knowledge according to the same Spirit, 9 to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit, 10 to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another the ability to distinguish between spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. 11 All these are empowered by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as he wills.

Just think about it.

I wanted to share this because I've referenced it a lot in conversation lately. You may remember, I wrote this devo for a friend's baby shower.  I removed some of the personal information, but not what I felt like God led me to say...

I prayed hard about what God wanted me to say to you today.  Four things came to mind: (1) what makes a good mother, (2) nurturing a mother, (3) being a working mom, and (4) evil mommy guilt.

1) WHAT IS A GOOD MOTHER?  

Based on what I’ve been able to find in the bible, a good mother is a wise, god fearing, loving, disciplinarian!  A wise mother teaches her children to grow into strong, godly minded individuals.
Proverbs 31:26 says wise mothers “speak with a gentle wisdom.”  Proverbs 1:8-9 clearly states a wise mother’s teaching “will improve your character as a handsome turban or a necklace improves your appearance.”

God-fearing women become the wisest Mothers. Homes are made by the wisdom of women, but are destroyed by foolishness - Proverbs 14:1  James 1:5 says But if any of you lack wisdom, you should pray to God, who will give it to you; because God gives generously and graciously to all.

A Mother should be loving and encouraging to her children, even in discipline. Parents, do not treat your children in such a way as to make them angry. Instead, raise them with Christian discipline and instruction. Ephesians 6:4  You won’t always succeed, but do your best to be loving and encouraging even when  you want to simply strangle your children.

Good mothers are Disciplinarians, even though sometimes it hurts you more than it hurts them!  Discipline your children while they are young enough to learn. If you don't, you are helping them destroy themselves. Proverbs 19:18  Teach children how they should live, and they will remember it all their life. Proverbs 22:6  When we are punished, it seems to us at the time something to make us sad, not glad. Later, however, those who have been disciplined by such punishment reap the peaceful reward of a righteous life. Hebrews 12:11

As you’ve probably noticed, our children are always watching the way we live our lives.  Our choices, words and actions, sacrifices, and even areas of lack create the yard stick our children will measure their own lives with.  If you want them to have lives marked by faith, you have to live your own life as one marked by faith.

A Mother Leaves A Legacy For Her Family To Inherit!

The bible says Mothers can leave two kinds of legacies...

The first is illustrated in Ezekiel 16:44-45 which says The Lord said, “People will use this proverb about you, Jerusalem: ‘Like mother, like daughter. You really are your mother's daughter. She detested her husband and her children. You are like your sisters, who hated their husbands and their children.  No thanks, I think I’ll pass!

The other legacy is like 2 Timothy 1:5-7 I remember the sincere faith you have, the kind of faith that your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice also had. I am sure that you have it also. For this reason I remind you to keep alive the gift that God gave you when I laid my hands on you. For the Spirit that God has given us does not make us timid; instead, his Spirit fills us with power, love, and self-control.

It’s not enough to simply know what a good mother is.  

Being a good mother means you 2) FOCUS ON YOUR SPIRITUAL GROWTH

Mothers so easily get bogged down in our duties – there is always a dish to wash, mountains of dirty laundry, a butt to clean, face to feed... the list goes on!  Jesus made it very clear that we MUST make our Spiritual growth a priority.   In Luke 10 Jesus and his disciples had been welcomed into the home of a woman named Martha. She was upset over all the work she had to do while her sister sat down at the feet of the Lord and listened to his teaching.  [You mean she didn’t have any help with all the work to be done!?  Boy I’m glad that doesn’t happen anymore!  *eye roll*]

Martha came to Jesus and said, “Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her to come and help me!” This is where Jesus answered her, “Martha, Martha! You are worried and troubled over so many things, but just one is needed. Mary has chosen the right thing, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Jesus makes it clear that even though there is always work to be done, you can’t allow it to hinder your own spiritual growth.

Nurture yourself by staying connected to other God-fearing women! We are at a prime age where we can glean so much knowledge from the women who have blazed this trail ahead of us, but we are still in a position to share our own experiences with the women who are starting these journeys of their own.

Hebrews 10:25 says Let us not give up the habit of meeting together, as some are doing. Instead, let us encourage one another all the more, since you see that the Day of the Lord is coming nearer.  That brought to mind Titus 2 which reminds us why this is important.  Those verses challenge us to “teach what is good, in order to train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, and to be good housewives who submit themselves to their husbands, so that no one will speak evil of the message that comes from God.”  This is the older, more experienced wives teaching the younger, inexperienced ones – they are nurturing each other.

We know what good moms are, how to nurture them, but what about working moms?  

All moms have a hard time nurturing themselves, but I feel like 3) WORKING MOTHERS find it especially challenging!

I have been both a working Mom and stay-at-home Mom so let me share this bit of my own knowledge and experience with you:

You are doing what God has led you to do or you wouldn't still be doing it!

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says Everything that happens in this world happens at the time God chooses.
God has led you to work.  He has given you with a steady job that provides for your family.  Working outside the home also provides you with ways to live out the gospel to countless others... THAT is kingdom work, no matter your title, or earthly employer.

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as though you were working for the Lord and not for people.... For Christ is the real Master you serve” Colossians 3:23

As I prepared to speak about working moms, I saw Proverbs 31 in a whole new light.  I won’t read the whole shebang, so bear with me if I seem to jump around a bit.

14 She brings home food from out-of-the-way places, as merchant ships do.
15 She gets up before daylight to prepare food for her family and to tell her servant women what to do.
16 She looks at land and buys it, and with money she has earned she plants a vineyard.
17 She is a hard worker, strong and industrious.
24 She makes clothes and belts, and sells them to merchants.

This “ideal woman” is purchasing land; working in the fields, selling at the gates of the city... it seems to me that this “ideal woman” spends plenty of time working outside the home.

What does she do with her children while she’s working so hard? She may have taken them with her, but who’s to say she didn’t have one of the servants in verse 15 caring for her children! God led this “ideal woman” to work hard and be industrious.  No matter how she accomplished it, sister-girl got it done!  She’s become OUR measuring stick....

Proverbs 31 also says “the ideal” woman’s children show their appreciation, and her husband praises her.  Charm is deceptive and beauty disappears, but a woman who honors the Lord should be praised. Give her credit for all she does. She deserves the respect of everyone.

Outside or inside of the home – all Mothers are working, ALL THE TIME!  So hard in fact that the bible says we should be appreciated, praised, given credit, and respected; even though it doesn’t always come from the mouths of our husbands or babies.

This makes it especially important to have a village of sisters to remind us that we are not alone and all the effort we put into our families pays off in a big way!

What about the #4) EVIL MOMMY GUILT

Don’t be caught up in the worldly perspective on home, marriage, raising our kids, or self-worth!  It’s when we are at our most vulnerable (OK, hormonal) the enemy will attack.  Life is not a Pinterest board. We won’t always get it right, encourage our friends, make our husbands proud, or do right by our kids.  We are human.  We are going to fail.  That’s when the devil is going to twist the truth, remind us of our failures, and weave lies no human can resist.  Our enemy will try forcing us to measure our worth as a mother against the “world’s” standards... DON’T FALL FOR IT!

These situations always bring me back to James 4.  Verse 4 tells us if you are the world's friend, you make yourself God's enemy.   Thank goodness we have verses 7 & 8: So then, submit yourselves to God. Resist the Devil, and he will run away from you. 8 Come near to God, and he will come near to you.

Always keep in mind that we can do nothing without Jesus.  Cling to the Savior and you’ll endure anything the enemy and the world sling at you.

CONCLUSION

All of that to say... extend yourself some grace.  In the end we only want the best for our patience-testing, rarely listening, crying, pooping, mess making tiny humans.  During the hardest days, on the sleepless nights, when your children test you the most... remember GOD HAS REBELLIOUS CHILDREN TOO!

We are His patience-testing, rarely listening, crying, pooping, mess making humans!  Seek the comfort that can only come from a Father who’s an endlessly wise, loving, disciplinarian; constantly extending us grace and forgiveness because He only wants the very best for us too.

I'm starting to notice a one day on and one day off pattern with my reading.  Tonight I was able to do the devotional for my dear friend's baby shower.  I was so nervous because I'd  never done a devotional before like that, but it went well.  I didn't pass out, vomit, or cry so I'm calling it a win!  :)  She asked me for a copy of it so I guess she liked it too!   I really felt like it was an honor and blessing to have been asked to do that for my friend.  I love that family very much and I'm so excited that they added another sweet little human to the clan.

I eluded to working on the devotional for a couple of weeks.  I had to spend a lot of time in my bible to figure out what it was I felt led to say.  Coincidentally, even though I don't really believe in coincidences, many of my scripture references were from Proverbs.  Why?  Because Proverbs is that part of the bible where the Word is trying to teach us the things we need to know in no uncertain terms.  No parables here, just face value "do this, not that, or else" statements.

I'm thankful for these reminders, because sometimes you just have to slap me in the face with it and tell me do this, not that, or else.  God knew that, he made me after all.

One week down!  :)  Have you been participating in the #lampandlight challenge too?  Are you feeling accomplished?

I didn't make it to church today.  I woke up in a lot of pain (back, legs, hips, etc.) and knew driving was going to be more than I could handle.  Thankfully my oldest boy facilitated a day for me to rest as much as possible and I'm incredibly thankful for it.  I know he has a really hard time having to take on so much responsibility when it comes to his little brother so when he's willing to step up, it means all the more to this Momma's heart.  Now if only our toddler was as willing to be kind and help out around the house!

Proverbs 17

It's hard for me to write on Proverbs because each chapter doesn't necessarily have a theme or a common thread running through it.  I do find it interesting through to flip through the pages I've read and see the things I've highlighted.  I mark the verses that struck a cord with me when I was reading through and my top picks are easily about parenting and relationships.  It makes sense for a stay at home mom right?  Sometimes those verses about relationships strike me because of my former career or even the relationships I've gained and lost over the years.  Sometimes I read through Proverbs and realize it's like God pointing at a specific moment saying "Yeah, that."

If you follow me on social media, you know I did my Day 5 reading pretty late.  The goal however, was to get it done and I did!  Proverbs 15, pictured below pre-highlighter.

Today was a busy one for me.  Not only did hubby and I mark our 12th anniversary today, we had a pool party that ended just an hour before a wedding!  I promised myself months ago this would be my last weekend to double up events.  From here on out, I only do one big event per day.  I'm glad I promised myself that because I'm only 19 weeks (5 months) and I find more and more things becoming a challenge.  I'm still embracing EVERY SINGLE DAY with our little "Cranberry", knowing that our child could be required of us at any time.  As Proverbs 16:1 says: We may make our plans, but God has the last word.

What about Day 3 you might ask?  Yeah, I fell off the wagon only three days in!  Every time I set my mind on reading, something happened that required my immediate attention.  (Dirty diapers wait for no wo-man!).  The wonderful thing about how I've structured my life is that I was still exposed to scripture throughout the day, so even when I'm running non stop, I still get hit with some scripture.

As you might have seen on the Facebook page, our friends lost their home and possessions in a fire yesterday.  I am fortunate to have never been through a fire, but I've been close enough to people who have to know the sense of loss is shattering.  Please be in prayer for this family as they work through the weeks and months to come.  Everyone was safe and they are staying with family nearby.  Our church family has rallied around them to try and meet as many needs as we can.  I ask that you lift them up today and ask God to respond to every need in abundance!  A fundraiser page has been set up and if you visit it,  you can see images of the damage the fire caused: http://www.gofundme.com/dzt0w4

For #lampandlight we're picking up where we left off; in Proverbs 14.  The last few days around here have been a test of our patience; so I was floored to read Homes are made by the wisdom of women, but are destroyed by foolishness.  Proverbs 14:1  First of all, I don't feel very wise most of the time.  I am so thankful that God has sent me so many friends who are wiser than I am.  Titus 2 talks about the older women teaching the younger women, and I'm thankful to have women in my life who will do just that.  I have reached out so many times with a need to be counseled in a Godly way.  Proverbs 14 hit several areas of my own foolishness over the years and I can see specific moments in my life where I have been on both sides of this verse - Wicked people bring about their own downfall by their evil deeds, but good people are protected by their integrity. Proverbs 14:32

I'm thankful that God has changed my heart and allowed me to learn lessons that have stuck with me over the years.

My husband and his friend have been working on moving furniture around the house all day.  Of course, I couldn't do anything to help move the furniture, but I did swoop in behind them to dust and run the vacuum.  It actually feels like we're getting ready for the baby now!  That's exciting all by itself.  Having more room in the house is a nice bonus too!  We monopolized on having help so I'm just now getting around to my #lampandlight reading.  Thankfully, the point is simply to read your bible each day - not the same time each day!  I don't think I could ever pull that off!

This evening I read Proverbs 13.  I'm not sure if it was just because mentally I'm exhausted, but I felt like it jumped around a bit. However, if you pay attention, many of the subjects in Proverbs are ones that we all struggle with on a regular basis: money, wisdom, raising children, dealing with dishonest people, etc.  The human condition is still very similar to the way it was thousands of years ago.  The technology has changed, cultures and laws have changed, but who people are at heart has not evolved.

God knew we were going to struggle - and likely with different things during different seasons in our life.  Two years ago, money was our family's #1 struggle.  Now, raising my children is probably my #2 struggle.  I'm thankful for a book like Proverbs to give me the wisdom, and reminders, I need to continue to seek after Christ!

Happy Labor Day!  I love that the first day of the scripture challenge falls on a holiday designed to be about rest and rejuvenation (not that everyone gets to rest or relax today, but a girl can dream).  God designed rest to be a part of our lives; it's that important.  God wasn't tired from spending six days bringing creation into existence, but he knew the importance of setting the example for us to rest and simply be still; ideally with him!

I mentioned in my earlier post that I have been working through the book of Proverbs.  Have you ever actually sat down just to read through Proverbs?  I know we reference it a lot in bible studies and speaking engagements; but I have gleaned so much from just reading through it!  Today's #lampandlight reading came out of Proverbs Chapter 12.

On Sunday evenings, a small group of women from our church meet to do a bible study together.  Each week our study leader prepares a lesson.  It could be anything from a special request, experiences we've had during the week, or simply what God has laid on her heart to discuss.  This week, she brought a vivid and telling lesson on the power of words to hurt us. This lesson compared the wounds words inflict and how to heal them to physical wounds and the first aid you would provide for them.